I know.
I haven’t
posted in a loooong time.
It’s because
I’ve been busy.
And
happier.
And vacationing in Hawaii.
And trying to understand new changes in my life.
And most recently hanging out with Jonny Roman. Yes, you read that right….this weekend…..this
happened…..
Jonny came to Minneapolis.
To visit me.
Because he
loves me.
A lot.
A whole hell of a lot.
I know, I know,
your jaws are all dropping, mine is still dropping too….there is a lot of back
story to all of this, which I don’t feel like getting into in great detail, but
essentially around the New Year, Jonny and I started talking again and he
started initiating talks of “Could we do this again? Could this work?”.
We decided that we wanted to see if it could…..but I told him that I
couldn’t talk it out over the phone with him and that since he had taken pretty
drastic actions to get out of our relationship, he needed to take drastic
actions to get back in and that if he wanted to really do this, he would have
to come and see me. I was trying
to have some serious self-respect with this (and to stick up for myself) and it worked,
because he booked a plane ticket.
Right away. And get this,
the date that he arrived was January 24….. exactly 6 months after the day that
we had broken up. Crazy how
life happens sometimes, right?
And so Jonny came this weekend. And it ended up being so beautiful. I’ll be honest, it was a little weird
at first though….we hadn’t seen each other in 6 full months…and so much had
happened throughout those months, including so much pain, that it was a
little strange to be together right away, but we eventually got over that and
started having really deep, honest, sweet conversations and we did a lot of
talking and crying and laughing and playing. And by the end of the weekend we had decided that this was
so good that we had to keep on trying.
Jonny told me multiple times that he is now finally ready for me, for
this love, for this relationship.
And not only is he ready, but he wants it so much and he is not giving
up. He surprised me by singing me the song I won't give up by Jason Mraz this weekend and it was so perfect, because during our break-up, whenever I
would hear this song on the radio it would make me cry and I would secretly wish that
someday we would get back together and he would sing this to me on guitar...And on Sat. morning he finally sang it to me...When
he sang it to me the first time this weekend, I just started bawling and cried
so hard…..but by the 3rd rendition (over the weekend I kept asking him to sing it for
me...) I had stopped
crying and was finally able to just enjoy it.
But even with his romantic songs and ever-present love for me this weekend, I’m still a little apprehensive and somewhat leery at times, as I really don’t want to get hurt again, nor do I want to give up this new life that I have worked so hard to build. However, I don’t think that I have to give up this life in order to love Jonny, I think that I can live them both simultaneously. There is a lot to still figure out….but right now, in this moment, I feel happy….and I know that he does too.
We are still going to take it slow and I’m not moving there
anytime soon. I will however be
visiting Ft. Collins in the next few weeks to check it out, visit our pup Ollie and see
how it feels to be with Jonny in his new home.
More to come….
xo
E
