Love Wins....

I know.

I haven’t posted in a loooong time.

It’s because I’ve been busy.

And happier. 

And vacationing in Hawaii. 

And trying to understand new changes in my life. 

And most recently hanging out with Jonny Roman.  Yes, you read that right….this weekend…..this happened…..

Jonny came to Minneapolis. 

To visit me.

Because he loves me. 

A lot. 

A whole hell of a lot.

 I know, I know, your jaws are all dropping, mine is still dropping too….there is a lot of back story to all of this, which I don’t feel like getting into in great detail, but essentially around the New Year, Jonny and I started talking again and he started initiating talks of “Could we do this again? Could this work?”.  We decided that we wanted to see if it could…..but I told him that I couldn’t talk it out over the phone with him and that since he had taken pretty drastic actions to get out of our relationship, he needed to take drastic actions to get back in and that if he wanted to really do this, he would have to come and see me.  I was trying to have some serious self-respect with this (and to stick up for myself) and it worked, because he booked a plane ticket.  Right away.  And get this, the date that he arrived was January 24….. exactly 6 months after the day that we had broken up.   Crazy how life happens sometimes, right?

And so Jonny came this weekend.  And it ended up being so beautiful.  I’ll be honest, it was a little weird at first though….we hadn’t seen each other in 6 full months…and so much had happened throughout those months, including so much pain, that it was a little strange to be together right away, but we eventually got over that and started having really deep, honest, sweet conversations and we did a lot of talking and crying and laughing and playing.  And by the end of the weekend we had decided that this was so good that we had to keep on trying.

Jonny told me multiple times that he is now finally ready for me, for this love, for this relationship.  And not only is he ready, but he wants it so much and he is not giving up.  He surprised me by singing me the song I won't give up by Jason Mraz this weekend and it was so perfect, because during our break-up, whenever I would hear this song on the radio it would make me cry and I would secretly wish that someday we would get back together and he would sing this to me on guitar...And on Sat. morning he finally sang it to me...When he sang it to me the first time this weekend, I just started bawling and cried so hard…..but by the 3^rd rendition (over the weekend I kept asking him to sing it for me...) I had stopped crying and was finally able to just enjoy it.  

But even with his romantic songs and ever-present love for me this weekend, I’m still a little apprehensive and somewhat leery at times, as I really don’t want to get hurt again, nor do I want to give up this new life that I have worked so hard to build. However, I don’t think that I have to give up this life in order to love Jonny, I think that I can live them both simultaneously.  There is a lot to still figure out….but right now, in this moment, I feel happy….and I know that he does too.

We are still going to take it slow and I’m not moving there anytime soon.  I will however be visiting Ft. Collins in the next few weeks to check it out, visit our pup Ollie and see how it feels to be with Jonny in his new home. 

More to come….

xo

E