I just returned home from attending the funeral of my friend’s father. He died tragically in a plane accident last week and our community is devastated for the family's loss.
I don’t have much to say, except that I am sitting here feeling so humbled right now. Today my sweet friend faced my (and I’m sure her) biggest fear – attending the funeral of one of your beloved family members. She was so brave, and poignant, and beautiful. And I didn’t know what to do, except to show up and love her, hug her, and hold her hand, because what else can we do in situations like these except to just be there and love?
And so yes, I feel humbled, because while I am indeed going through my own personal loss, her loss is so much greater. And it made me reflect and really tune into all of the many, wonderful reasons that I have to be grateful for in my life. Ever since I heard of her father’s passing, I feel like I have been walking around with fresh eyes, just feeling grateful for everything that is present for me – because there is so much to be grateful for.
All of it is so humbling - losing my partner, moving back in with my parents, not liking my job, readjusting to a new social scene, living in Minnesota….. I didn’t ask for any of it, yet it showed up in my life for some reason, so I’ve decided to try to come to peace with it, because when it comes down to it, much of what I get upset about on a day-to-day basis is relatively trivial, and there is still a lot in my life to be grateful for and that gratefulness seems like a better focus for now...
The poem below was on the back of the handout today at the funeral and it made me really think about my life and others lives and how we are “living our dash” in this bruitful world.
“I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars....the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash midrange.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they
say about how you spend your dash?” ~Linda Ellis
For me, right now, I am living my dash by continuing to go forward trying to find the blessings in everything that life brings. To find reasons to be grateful for each day. To keep holding in the loving for my friends, my family and for Jonny and myself. To be gentle with myself and the process of healing and to continue to extend my unconditional loving to Jonny from afar. To continue to hold hope in the belief of miracles and love. To appreciate mother nature and this adventure called life. To share laughter when it is present, spend quality time with the people I love, and to trust that all of this is playing out perfectly as it should. To embrace my imperfections, because Lord knows I have many....And finally, to live my dash in loving service, because I truly believe that the more loving that we extend into this world, the more that comes back to us in return....
I’m holding in my loving today for me, for all of you and especially for Katie.
How are you living yours?
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